It has been pointed out that Mitt Romney does not drink alcohol and that this could be a weak point for his election chances given that many Americans like to knock one back from time to time. In fact, many Americans like to get well sloshed and wonder what kind of stick a person has up you-know-where not to.
With that in mind, theforvm, in conjunction with Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc., is announcing a competition.
An award of $10,000 will be given to the best video submission or best submitted commercial script that highlights Romney's lack of fitness for the Office of the Presidency given that he's a teetotaler.
May the best friend of alcohol win!
AVO: Mitt Romney doesn't want to have a beer with you.
(#279443)Mitt Romney wants to drink your milkshake.
Mitt Romney. Bad for boozehounds. Bad for America.
M Aurelius was probably right.
He'll drink your milkshake. He'll drink it up.
(#279446)But isn't it a little queer that he doesn't want to have a beer?
About that brewski in Sandusky
(#279459)I'm afraid I must decline.
Shooting Cuervo out in Provo?
Aw jeeze look at the time.
Margaritas in Milpitas,
well doesn't that sound nice?
If they're virgin I'll be splurgin',
otherwise I'll suck on ice.
They say the pisco up in Frisco
approaches the divine.
Talked it over with Jehovah;
I'll stick with grape juice wine.
A Rolling Rock in Little Rock
would really hit the spot,
but the holy spirit just won't clear it
so I guess I'd better not.
No to bitter in DeRidder,
Can't do beer in Windermere.
Huh-uh scotch in Smuggler's Notch,
I'm sorry if I wasn't clear.
My booze-damned fellow Americans,
you know what makes me sigh
at the end of the day? A nice Earl Gray...
Did I mention that I was dry?
M Aurelius was probably right.
How does that subject even rhyme
(#279470)Do the people in Wisconsin not know how to pronounce "Sandusky" correctly?
Who would call it "San-dooosky"?
It's clearly "San-dusky". Such as, Orlando Pace is from Sandusky, Ohio.
Surely even the people of Wisconsin know this to be so.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandusky
"I’m to believe that North Korea is so dangerously unhinged that they would attack without warning – yet so meek and easily cowed that they will sit quietly and not retaliate when we start bombing them."
Major Kong
It's cooler the way I pronounce it. -nt-
(#279472).
M Aurelius was probably right.
Yeah,
(#279506)but you could have gone with Meeteetse.
NYT says lack of drinking is serious liabiliy
(#279449)I’ve always thought the beer buddy threshold was nonsense. Still, it’s worth considering what a White House without a tippling tenant would be like. Sobriety, laudable in many respects, does imply rigidity of thought. The best presidents were open-minded, and generally open to a drink. The nondrinkers, at least over the last century or so, were terrible presidents.
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/21/the-wrath-of-grapes-2/
<cue: patriotic music>
(#279454)<fade in: full-screen US Flag>
<cue: baritone-voiced announcer>
"The U.S. brewing industry is a dynamic part of our national economy, contributing billions of dollars in wages and taxes. An indication of beer’s importance is its inclusion in the basket of goods the government uses to calculate the Consumer Price Index.
The industry today includes more than 1,800 brewers and importer establishments and over 3,300 beer distributor facilities across the country. Our retail partners are also important contributors, the current official beer outlet count for the industry by TDLinx includes over 547,000 beer selling retail establishments. The industry’s economic ripple effect benefits agriculture, manufacturing, construction, transportation and many other businesses whose livelihood depends on the beer industry.
Directly and indirectly, the beer industry employs approximately 1.8 million Americans, paying them over $71 billion in wages and benefits. The industry pays over $44 billion in business, personal and consumption taxes, including $5.3 billion in excise taxes and $5.8 billion in sales, gross receipts, and other taxes." *
"Most Americans are proud and happy to participate in this patriotic and stimulative tradition."
Most...
<fade in: B&W Photo of Willard Romney>
* (attribution)
Do you have a photo preference?
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Yes. The middle one.
(#279467)'Cuz with some visible nose hair, it would like a lot like me.
So the president walks into a bar
(#279464)[img]http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/5a41eb928e6f11e1b10e123138105d6b_7.jpg[/img]
Government is merely a servant – merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.